Things I Can't Do/Transcript


 * Viewer: Chilly, what's with you and self-deprecation? You did weird stuff as a child, you're a pushover to people who keep taking advantage of you, you have difficulty making friends, you can't even art well! Is there anything you can do!?
 * Chilly: Yes... (rolls up in a blanket) Hey guys, it's Chilly! So growing up, I did a lot of extra-curriculars because my parents wanted me to do be this golden child who could do everything, but I was never exposed to said extra-curriculars and not to say that I'm good at them, but enough to know the basics; choir, soccer, basketball, dance, musical instruments, swimming, art... OK, maybe not art because let's face it, I don't even have fingers! And don't even get me started on anatomy. But we're working on it. Because I focus on my flaws a lot, I have noticed that there are a lot of things that I can't necessarily do but everyone else can do and when I say everyone, I mean it's dependent on the actual thing that's being done, you'll see what I mean.
 * Viewer: Wow Chilly, you can't even explain things properly!
 * Chilly: (shushes viewer and starts dancing) OKAY...so when I was younger, my parents enrolled me in those swimming lessons because as I mentioned in a previous video, I was a slow child when it came to learning things. I'm still kinda slow to this day but whatever. One of those things was well, swimming. Every lesson we focused on a stroke or a technique and things were actually going pretty smoothly. I was nailing that back stroke, butterfly stroke, breast stroke.. Fast forward to diving day. The way diving day goes is that first they teach you the basics of how to jump into water properly, and the way we were taught this is that you're supposed to tuck your chin into your chest. But after doing some research, apparently not everyone was taught this way. Anyways, after you get the basics, you start getting into different dives. The basics is where I failed. HORRIBLY. My body physically wouldn't let me do that. Every time I start out in the right position with my neck, chin, and everything, but then right before impact my body would just force my hand to hold my nose. Yep, I was a nose holder. (tuck chin into neck + jumping into = NO WATER IN NOSE!!!) That decision didn't quite process well in my head and I didn't believe that actually prevented any water from going into my nose, which is what they told us. Do you know how excruciatingly uncomfortable it is to have any water go up your nose? My body does! I was able to get away with it without anyone noticing. I am such a ninja and literally did it last second so no one would notice. It wasn't any better than when we actually had to dive from the diving board and I end up not only fail the entire position because my nose was being held, but because of the panic of not knowing that I wasn't in the right position, my free arm would be flailing about and I belly-flop it EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Yeah, I definitely didn't stealth my way through that one. I never picked up on it until this day. To be fair, I don't go swimming as much now but it's hard and I can't trust it and neither can my body, and I know my body is a real bro so I trust my body! Yeah! For all my viewers out there who put on makeup, there is one thing that everyone I see do can do well. I thought it was one of those things that the beauty gurus make it look easy but everyone I know can do this with ease and I can't. But if not, eyeliners. Eyeliner is my best friend, also my worst enemy because it's such a process for me to put it on. The way people apparently do it is that they just close their eye and that one hand just glides that bad boy over. I've even seen some people do it with their eyes open. Like whoa!! Did you get a degree for that?? How are you able to put on this black ink so cleanly with such a steady hand? You must've been good at staying in the lines coloring as a child. But not me, no. Putting eyeliner is a whole process for me! First I have to climb on the sink to be able to see my canvas clearly. The closer, the better. I then close the eye that I'm gonna be working on and use my left hand to tug on my eyelashes to get that perfect smooth canvas, and then I can put eyeliner on. Honestly I tried doing it the way that everyone is apparently a master in but it just never comes out right, and don't even get me started on trying to do a wing. Making things difficult for myself is something I apparently enjoy doing. The next one is something that I learned was a trend in college, although I do see it among fellow YouTubers too. You'd think of the existence of this abysmal thing called a grading curve. People would be competing for better grades because y'know, you're literally competing to a grade in the class, but NONONONONO!! They instead compete for who gets the least amount of sleep because apparently that determines your level of intelligence in the class. We have a test and a few minutes before the exams are handed out, everyone would just be chilling, chatting with each other, or doing last-second reviews, although I never really understood the point of that. My motto is "If you didn't learn it beforehand, there nothing you can learn five minutes before the exam." Anyways, I'd be talking to the people next to me and the conversation would go something like this:
 * Student #1: I'm like so tired, I think I got like four hours of sleep last night because I was studying for this exam.
 * Student #2: Dang, I got that much sleep in the last two nights cramming for this.
 * Student #3: I think I got like an hour of sleep last night and snuck in a 20-minute power-nap somewhere. (other two students become starry-eyed)
 * Student #2: Senpai, wow, he's gonna get an A!
 * Student #1: What an inspiration!! SENPAI!!!
 * Chilly: Oh I got like 8 hours. (vinyl scratch)
 * Student #2: Wow, someone doesn't care about college.
 * Student #3: Jeez, what a failure.
 * Student #1: Oh well, her getting an F means less competition for that A!
 * Chilly: NO, but people will legitimately judge how prepared you are for an exam based on the number of hours of sleep you get the week of an exam, even though 7 hours minimum is what you should be getting. I have never pulled an all-nighter in my life, not just because I value sleep but I just can't keep myself awake for 24 hours, yet all these people make it sound so easy and they've done it countless times. The thing is (Can I throw this water at you?) (NO???) I've experienced sleep drunkenness and it's not fun at all and I don't know people can function on that pea-sized amount of sleep. I wouldn't even be able to write my name on the exam with that little sleep. Chilly Pang.... Bang... Big Bang.... Bing Bing Bing..... Bing Bam Bang! (passes out) I mean if that gives me an A, then by all means, do you guys not value sleep?! Did you guys not know that sleeping the proper amount actually helps with your cognition? You guys aren't competing for who's the smartest, you guys are competing for who's killing their brain cells fastest! Love yourselves people and look up to the person who can and will sleep for 14 hours when possible. Look up to me!

End-card

 * Chilly: No but seriously, get at least six hours of sleep at night. Cherish your brain cells like they cherish you. BONUS!! I can't whistle. A question I always ask people is if they blow or suck but I always get different answers so yeah. I don't know how to whistle but it's not everyone can do. Anyways, so I didn't include it in the actual video. You know who can whistle though..... (BTS' "DNA" plays briefly, then outro music)